I belong to an online mom's group that's been going since 2006. We're very proud of that. But we've had to kick some mamas to the curb since then, and it hasn't been pretty.
There was Impossible Life Mama, who had the following happen to her in the span of six months: husband cheated and she busted his car ala Carrie Ryan in that song, the former owner of her house installed cameras in her closets or something and could describe her clothing and her kids and so she had to move, her younger sister had "an affair" with their (third or fourth) step dad and got pregnant and came to live with her, she herself got pregnant three weeks after having her first kid, she got married to someone else but we never saw a picture of him, and she was rich because she inherited a farm or money or something? All possible. Sure. But huh? It all came to a crashing halt when one mama on our board posted pictures of random dudes and objects and said she, too, had just gotten married. Funny. But Impossible life Mama did not think so.
Then there were the usual crazy mamas who broke with us. Usual because anyone who joins these groups online knows most people in them are illiterate and crazy. You realize people have hard lives, seemingly Impossible lives, and a way to cope is to act like a nutter in a safe yet public forum.
One such lady in our group left after she'd posted she hated sex with her husband and felt sick all the time. Most of us posted what we should: "go to the doctor!" "check your thyroid!" "maybe some counseling?" But one lady, who has many children and a seemingly impossible life, posted that this woman's relationship with God was lacking and that is why she was so unhappy and losing weight. Somewhere in there there was also a debate about Dads and youtube video, but the gist was one impossible mama calling another a basic heathen and this meant she could no longer get down and was doomed to feeling like crap. (Self Righteous Mama ended up getting kicked off, but that was years later and is another story).
One characteristic of some of us, who, ahem, hang out in these groups is we like to be right. Maybe it is why we have friends online. When they disagree with you too much you log out and go troll somewhere else (although by definition a troll is someone who is not emotionally invested in the group. And many of these ladies care too too much). So when this Thyroid Compromised Mama (or whatever her issue is) posted pictures of a skin rash on her three year old, I chimed in. I love to be right.
"Ring worm!" most of us wrote. "And how!" was basically my answer. I have had ring worm. I caught it as a nanny. It's nasty to think something is chewing a circular pattern into your skin, but, there you have it, that is what it is.
But this mama was convinced she could cure it herself. She had to, she explained. Her insurance was sucky and their last trip which turned out to be unnecessary, was a couple of hundred dollars. And by all appearances she should be able to take her kid in: she's got an outwardly looking middle class life: a late model house, stainless steal, granite counter tops, and the ubiquitous red walls and wrought iron decor that goes with all this stuff. She has miniature dogs and bakes stuff from Martha Stewart and eats out a lot at places that are high end chains and that seem classy til you go to real restaurants and realize those places kinda suck and are very salty. She is very upset by Obama's healthcare bill and yet seems to not realize this is what it is trying to solve: you should take your three year old to the doctor. Period. Especially when something might be chewing its way through her skin.
Two hundred bucks is a lot, but I am pretty sure that is how much she spends on the ingredients for her Martha Stewart hobby. Or for the vet for her mini toy whatever dog that pees on everything and has just had to have "tests". And for Dave and Busters tabs. So. Yeah. There is something boring itself into your kid. Take her IN!
But she didn't.
She posted pics.
She "researched" online.
She argued with anyone who said it was ring worm and happily concurred with anyone who said it was a rash.
Weeks passed.
She revealed she was pregnant.
And somehow this prompted her to see to the kid she already has and she took her in.
Sheepishly after much prodding from those us who do, despite the snark, care for her, she posts it is ringworm.
And I shudder.
One, cause ring worm is nast. When it was on my neck I felt beyond nast.
And two, cause what kind of parent uses Web MD as a final answer?
President Obama please put a silly parent clause in any subsequent healthcare bills.
And if we could kick someone out for stupid, this might be it.
But we can't.
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